A WEALTH OF USELESS INFORMATION

So I guess it was not meant to be ...

2010-03-15T09:45:00.005-04:00

I hate drama and i am the source at the moment

My relationship might be over.

We have been drifting apart and we aren't that good at talking about it ( i hate confrontation, I procrastinate and I'm indesisive) actually it was something we had in common.

Before yesterday I was thinking that ending it might not be such a bad idea. Then I hit a limit of saying the things we always said and hearing the same replies.

That was when it changed in my head... We cried, I was told that it wasn't me or my fault and that i was perfect...but... he had changed i was more like a best friend than a lover (something else that was being forced). So we are taking some down time but i worry that it is the end.

It has been a long relationship and when it was at its peak we wanted to live our lives out together and now we where dreading seeing each other.

and i had put in for a change of placement so that i could be there. Now i don't think I can get out of it. Actually I am sure that I can't.

Oh and i had my first cigarette after quitting for 5 months.

Random Murphy's law

2010-03-11T12:18:00.002-05:00

You can or can not get ANYWHERE in ten minutes if...

you go fast enough.

Speed bumps are of negligible effect when the vehicle exceeds triple the desired restraining speed.

The vehicle in front of you is traveling slower than you are.

This lane ends in 500 feet.

The simple but difficult arts of paying attention, copying accurately, following an argument, detecting an ambiguity or a false inference, testing guesses by summoning up contrary instances, organizing one's time and one's thought for study -- all these arts -- cannot be taught in the air but only through the difficulties of a defined subject.

They cannot be taught in one course or one year, but must be acquired gradually in dozens of connections.

What I see yet again ...why do Laptops hate me

2010-03-11T12:16:00.002-05:00

Who is General Failure, and why is he reading my hard disk?

Technology makes it possible to gain control over everything, except technology

The end of Civilization

2010-03-11T12:10:00.004-05:00

which disorder do you have

2010-03-03T11:59:00.000-05:00

4th Annual Brazilian Underwear Day.

2010-02-11T13:01:00.008-05:00

Wow it is one of those “wish I was there” moments.

I don’t usually read the SUN newspaper but this is interesting.

I should look into this

Gearloose

Valentines Day !!?!

2010-02-10T09:54:00.022-05:00

Celebrated on February 14, Valentines Day is the festival of love birds across the world, irrespective of the nation, caste, religion or creed. Love birds across the nation await this event desperately throughout the year.

However the story of its origin is still under blurred sacks. There are different ideas to the way Valentines Day celebration began. Some trace it to Lupercalia, an ancient Roman festival while other experts associate the event with two saints named valentine of the early Christian church. One of them would secretly conduct marriage of couples by disobeying the rule of Roman Emperor, Claudius; while other was a lover of children but, was imprisoned when he would not honor other gods.

The children missed him and wrote messages of affection to him through the bars of the cell. This can be considered as the beginning of exchanging messages. Still others link it with an old English belief that love birds choose their mates on February 14. Valentine's Day probably came from a combination of all the above sources, along the belief that spring is a time for lovers.

Facts about Valentines day

Doves mate for life and therefore are used as a symbol of "fidelity."

The Italian city of Verona, where Shakespeare's lovers Romeo and Juliet lived, receives about 1000 letters addressed to Juliet every Valentine's Day.

Cupid is associated with Valentine's Day because he was the son of Venus, the goddess of love and beauty. Cupid causes people to fall in love by shooting them with his magical arrows.

In the United States alone, approximately 110 million roses, mostly red, will be sold and delivered within a 3-day time period!

About 3% of pet owners give Valentine gifts to their pets as they are more grateful than humans.

The modern day celebration of Valentines Day is believed to begin in France and England.
Cupid (symbol for Roman God of love), doves, love birds, roses, hearts and arrows are all symbols of the Valentine’s Day celebration.

Pope Gelasius declared February 14 St. Valentine's Day around 498 A.D.

In Great Britain, Valentine's Day began to be celebrated around seventeenth century. By the middle of the eighteenth century, it was common for friends and lovers to exchange small tokens of affection or handwritten notes.

In Medieval times, girls ate bizarre foods on St Valentine's Day to dream of their future spouse.

There was a belief in the Middle Ages that the first unmarried person (of the opposite sex) you met on the morning of St. Valentine's Day would become your spouse.

The first Valentine gift was sent by Duke of Orleans to his wife, after he was captured in 1415.
73% of Valentine Day flowers are bought by men, whereas women buy only 23% of Valentine flowers.

Around 3% of pet owners prefer to give Valentine gifts to their pets, as they are more grateful than humans.

In oden times, some people believed that if a woman saw a robin flying overhead on Valentine's Day, it meant she would marry a sailor. If she saw a sparrow, she would marry a poor man and be very happy. If she saw a goldfinch, she would marry a millionaire.

The heart is the most common symbol of romantic love. Ancient cultures believed the human soul lived in the heart and its red color is though to be the most romantic.

The red rose was the favorite flower of Venus, the Roman goddess of love. Since red stands for strong feelings, red rose is a flower of love.

The first Valentine's Day box of chocolates was introduced by Richard Cadbury in 1868.

In Wales, wooden love spoons were carved and given as gifts on Valentine’s Day. Hearts, keys and keyholes were favorite Valentine decorations on the wooden spoons that meant, "You unlock my heart!"

Gearloose

That does not look like love…..

2010-02-10T07:25:00.001-05:00

Valentines Day is fast approaching.

It's always hard for me to get into the Valentine's Day spirit.

Valentine's Day's namesake is, of course, St. Valentine, a priest who had so much love in his heart that he decided to break his vow of celibacy. Look out little boys.

He was beheaded by St. Hallmark, Patron Saint of Sappy Cards who decided that love should be a marketable commodity. So St. Hallmark invented St. Valentine's Day, which he decided was to be celebrated on the 14th of February for some reason. My belief is that this was due to the fact that there is nothing good to due this time of year.

Following that St. Hallmark successfully captured and beat into submission the Roman God of love, the diaper-clad Cupid. Whom rather than hide his embarrassing bowel control problem, Cupid's diaper had became his trademark.

But I digress, I dislike it because as usual I am not thrilled at the prospect of getting something useless so that I have something for someone that I have been told doesn’t really want anything…..

WOW lets try that again ..

OR

I feel like I should get someone something and they tell me not too.

So for all you heart shaped boxed chocolate loving, red card with covers of fairy sprinkles, doe eyed little goo goo talking lovers out there.

Good luck and the gay side of me wishes I was you

Gearloose

The Perfect Insult Formula (Better Off Ted)

2010-02-09T13:04:00.000-05:00

Lem: What are you cypherin' there Jethro?

Phil: I really enjoyed repeating the put downs you've been feeding me but I wanna do it on my own. Give a man an insult, he can hurt people for a day. Teach a man to insult, he can hurt people who tease him because he never learned to fish. Anyway, I've devised a formula.

Lem: Look at that. You had a problem in your life and who stepped up to help you? Math. She has always been there for you, hasn't she, Phil?

Phil: If she ever took physical form, I'd leave my wife and marry her.

Lem: Stand in line, my friend.

Phil: Anyway, it's really quite simple. You take a person's most marked physical feature, compare it to genitalia--male, female, or animal--and end with the suffix "-bag," "-wipe", or "-muncher."

Lem: You could also add an optional reference to excretion from any of the glorious openings offered by the human body.

Phil: Shall we take it for a spin?

Phil: Excuse me Roger? Your head looks like a lizard butt-flap you ass-wipe.

Phil and Lem: Oooooooooh... *Later*

Phil: Your eyes look like two beady rabbit pellets on the face of a monkey-licking pus-bomb.

Lem: You've just been Phil-abusted.

Phil: Nice!

*Chest Bump*

Lem: That's it--fill up your canker-blossomed hole, you ale-soused apple-john. That was the Elizabethan model.

Phil: Ye have been served.

*Chest Bump*

Another Year another trip to Montreal

2010-02-01T20:28:00.002-05:00

Just got the call. And I am off to Montreal for a week..
Hope you guys have more fun than I do.

If you can think of anything that this site needs send me a comment

Gearloose

Questionaire

2010-02-01T13:49:00.003-05:00

Someone who does not follow my blog sent me an email and said I needed a questionnaire on here.

So I swiped one from “Falling through the void”.
Who by the look of it swiped it from Ben at ben-gaymid-schooler.blogspot.com/

This was supposed to be posted last month but I forgot again so here it is now.

The answers are mine.

1. First thing you wash in the shower?
My arms and what ever part of my body that hits the water first.

2. What color is your favorite hoodie?
Hey, exactly how did you know I have a hoodie?
Mine is fun fur lined and looks like fake denim on the outside. Warm, fuzzy and waterproof

3. Would you kiss the last person you kissed again?
Yes, making out is fun and I would repeat that.

4. Do you plan outfits every day?
Short answer “NO!” long Answer. The only time I actually plan an outfit is when I am going out, which is once in a blue moon. Besides that the closest thing that comes to planning is to make sure I am not clashing.

5. How are you feeling RIGHT now?
I am getting a headache if you must know...

6. What’s the closest thing to you that's red?
A big tag that is on a mull modem cable beside my computer. And fancy that it says “Null Modem Cable”

7. Tell me about the last dream you remember having?
I was sitting in a hotel room on the bed cross legged having a cigarette. That is all I remember and the reason for that is I quite a 15+ year habit 4 months ago and the only dreams that I remember is when I think I have had a cigarette and I wake up feeling guilty that I have cheated.

8. Did you meet anybody new today?
Actually I met the accounts clerk today. I have emailed her for the last 6 months but we have never met each other before … I guess that counts.

9. What are you craving right now?
Lets see. I am on a diet to get rid of the weight that I have gained from not smoking. I am not smoking and I have not had sex in 5 days… So sex chocolate and cigarettes not necessarily in that order.

10. Do you floss?
No, I brush my teeth twice a day but I hate the feeling of trying to garrote my teeth and slice into the gums on either side of every tooth.

11. What comes to mind when I say cabbage?
Sauerkraut. I don’t know why other than that is what it is made of.

12. Are you emotional?
Depends on my mood and the topic of conversation.

13. Have you ever counted to 1,000?
No, I don’t remember ever doing that and plus I get distracted to easily.

14. Do you bite into your ice cream or just lick it?
I can’t bite anything cold with my teeth… plus I hate ice cream so NO!

15. Do you like your hair?
Not at the moment. I have went through every hair style in known history from long to short and there is none that I like on me. Now I am actually growing my hair out from a crew cut that was done horribly so I can’t wait to get it cut.

16. Do you like yourself?
Physically? Physically, I rather dislike my body, I have to work out more (to be exact I have to start to again).
Mentally... well, what can I say I have to live with myself and sometimes I don’t mind the company.

17. Would you go out to eat with George Bush?
No, I like to have conversation when I eat with someone and if he started to talk I would just loose my appetite anyway.

18. What are you listening to right now?
Random office noises and my boss is listening to the news on the radio.

19. Are your parents strict?
No. The benefits of having older retired parents is that they more or less just leave me alone. When I was young yes, my mother is a red head with Irish descent and her temper was fierce

20. Would you go sky diving?
Not so much, I don’t like the idea of jumping out of a perfectly good airplane.

21. Do you like cottage cheese?
No, the texture reminds me of slime and the smell of something that died.

22. Have you ever met a celebrity?
Yes, If Canadian celebrities count … No if they don’t.

23. Do you rent movies often?
Yes.

24. Is there anything sparkly in the room you're in?
The closest thing to sparkly in the office is the bottles of hand sanitizer.

25. How many countries have you visited?
Canada and US

26. Have you made a prank phone call?
No. The closest I have come is talking dirty.

27. Ever been on a train?
No

28. Brown or white eggs?
I live on a farm as long as they are cooked I could care less.

29. Do you have a cell-phone?
Yes. 2 one for work and one for me.

30. Do you use chap stick?
Only in the winter

31. Do you own a gun?
Is a rifle a gun?

32. Can you use chop sticks?
No, I have tried but somehow the skill has always eluded me.

33. Who are you going to be with tonight?
Actually I am going to visit my folks tonight

34. Are you too forgiving?
I am Canadian we are sorry for anything and everything.

35. Ever been in love?
I hope so but I don’t know if I would bet on it ..

36. What is your best friend(s) doing tomorrow?
I don’t know if I can say that I have a best friend. My friends from childhood kind of split off and went a their own ways. I guess they guy I am dating is the closet that I have and I don’t know.

37. Ever have cream puffs?
I know not what they are to say for sure.

38. Last time you cried?
Last week but it was due to a migraine

39. What was the last question you asked?
Hmm... I asked my boss never to use the word “Marshall” again. He wanted me to get a bunch of boxes together for a delivery and he told me to “Marshall” them and I said “That is above my pay scale so you do it“ .

40. Favorite time of the year?
Summer, I am a people watcher and they seem to wear less in the heat of summer. LOL that sounds like I am a pervert.

41. Do you have any tattoos?
No. Not at the moment I was looking to get one last fall but I doubt I will. Too expensive and I am not a fan of my body at the moment.

42. Are you sarcastic?
Yes ever so much so and if I where to answer that question out loud , the answer would probably come out sarcastic anyway.

43. Have you ever seen The Butterfly Effect?
Yes, I don’t remember a damned thing about it though

44. Ever walked into a wall?
Glass door, door jam, screen door, but no not a wall.

45. Favorite color?
Every time I get asked that I answer something different.

46. Have you ever slapped someone?
Yes. probably more than one if I thought about it.

47. Is your hair curly?
Nope, my hair is the exact opposite of curly.

48. What was the last CD you bought?
been so long I couldn’t tell you… You know you can download songs onto an IPOD now. It is really fun you should try it.

49. Do looks matter?
At first thoughts I would say no. But, I realize that someone who is physically attractive is going to get more attention than someone who is not. And although I am going to find myself inferior to them I am going to want to get in their pants anyway or at least try and see them naked or imagine them naked… God I have to have sex soon or I am going to pop.

50. Could you ever forgive a cheater?
No I don’t think so and I would probably never forget that they did it and not trust them as much.

51. Is your phone bill sky high?
Not so much I use my work phone for everything.

52. Do you like your life right now?
I guess so. I'd like to be out though. And learn how to save money.

53. Do you sleep with the TV on?
No. A fan but not the TV

54. Can you handle the truth?
I like the truth, I always ask for it and usually can handle it if not at the beginning almost always after a couple of days.

55. Do you have good vision?
No Not so much or at all without my glasses or contacts.

56. Do you hate or dislike more than 3 people?
Hate?
No.

Dislike?
Yes, and definitely more than 3.

57. How often do you talk on the phone?
More than I care to for work and personal. I don’t like talking on the phone I would rather talk in person.

58. The last person you held hands with?
My boyfriend and I usually hold hands when we are in the car together. Yes I realize it is not safe but it is something that we do.

59. What are you wearing?
Boxer Briefs, socks, shoes, jeans, a tee shirt, and a sweater. Glasses, and no jewelry minus my earring(left ear).

60.What is your favorite animal?
I like dogs and cats. People say I am more like a cat. And animals are surprising friendly to me. Did I actually answer that question?

61. Where was your default picture taken at?

Default?
I have various pictures of my on my pieces of ID and other than that I HATE getting my picture taken.

62. Can you hula hoop?
I remember doing it when I was a kid but I haven't tried it in a long time.

63. Do you have a job?
Yes and although I should consider it a carreer I can’t do it.

64. What was the most recent thing you bought?
Diner last night, I was on the road for work and I had Swiss Chalet chicken.

65. Have you ever crawled through a window?
Yes, I think I had to brake into my own house once when I was younger.

I like clowns

2010-02-01T12:59:00.001-05:00

Little Freak of Nature

2010-02-01T12:58:00.001-05:00

Being trained by the pets 101

2010-01-30T00:39:00.001-05:00

So this is my Friday night

Some background.
My folks live on a farm.
I am an only child.
My folks are both retired now and want to travel.
My folks have pets.
My folks wanted to go visit my aunt for the weekend.
Did I mention I am an only child?

So, my folks have a few pets living in the house at the moment, two permanent house residents with others that migrate in during the winter months in various states. Okay so “we” have a cat. She's a fairly old lady I would say about 18. She is passing gracefully into older age and usually just gives you a passing glace as she passes through her areas of the house and with a confidence and a self awareness. She is really cool to watch; she seeks out her favorite spots and stays there for hours.
Next is the house dog also an older lady of about 14, not aging as gracefully as the cat she has lost the ability to move gracefully in any way and unfortunately recently lost the ability to hear (unbeknownst to me). She is most content to sleep in any place at anytime for any length of time she deems fit.
So at the beginning of the first paragraph I think that I mentioned something about winter, which is happening here at the moment. The first of these are my mothers “Boys” a school of 7 huge goldfish / coy in the summer are in the pond outside but in the winter are in a large 150 gallon tank in the basement. They just do what fish do until they see movement or a light come on and then they are in the corner of the tank closest to the stairs splashing away trying to get the attention of any passerby so that they can get some food.
So my parents have decided that it is too cold for the “barn” cats to spend the night in the barn. So there are 4 calico very young cats that hag out in the partially heated sunroom at the back of the house they are very relaxed and young, if nothing else happens you don’t even know they are there. On the other hand when something happens like food or an annoying bird or noise, which probably is considered food as well. It's kind of a funny blur of motion as they all try and be first to see what it was the moved, made a noise or just caught their attention.
Finally there is a barn dog, more of a barn puppy compared to everyone else who spends his winters in the sunroom. And will only bark if someone new is on the scene or if he needs to relieve himself. The only thing that is odd about him is as he is a Springer spaniel and quite compulsive, you must stand still around him for a few minutes so he can orbit around you if you try and move during this time period all that will happen is that he will trip you up and you will fall on your ass.

…Here's the story.

I was working late on Friday and so I could not arrive in time to see my folks off, There was a note left for me in the Kitchen.

“Dear (insert my name here)
Sorry we couldn’t wait for you. Your uncle is going to take care of the barn. If you have to go anywhere tell him and he will feed everybody.
Food for the cats is in closet in the sunroom.
Food for dogs is in garage
Food for “the boys” is by the tank.
Don’t leave the sunroom door open.
Don’t forget to let everyone out in the morning and at night.
Have fun and don’t make a mess”

Ok so, I admit I was tired, I had a long day and didn’t actually read the letter that well.
When I arrived it was late and there were no lights on in the house. I fed the house dog, which promptly fell asleep at the door to the sunroom. Fed the boys there food and was going to feed the cat when I got distracted by a phone call from an aunt. Plus the cat was taking a nap on the furnace register anyway.
The phone call was long and I found myself sitting at my folks computer going through my emails. The cat feeling the need for food squeezed in between the screen and the keyboard, she stood there and made her usual plea for food. So with the cordless phone in one hand and my very talkative aunt in my ear I made my way around the corner to the sunroom.

This is where I realized they had been training me in secret, without me knowing it or it had all been a set up. It also became the point where I realized it was winter and the note had said “cats” and “dogs” and my uncle was just taking care of the cows in the barn…

Because as I was opening the door and flipped on the light to the sunroom also stepping gingerly over the sleeping canine because I would hate to make her move, the house cat proceeded to lie down on the computer desk throwing the keyboard to the floor.
This set off a whirlwind of training that I didn’t even realize was in me. With one foot on either side of the sleeping dog the door partially opened and a noise emitting from another room four multicolored fur balls flew over on and around the dog startling her causing her to sit up pushing me into the wall. I managed to bring one hand up and hold myself up so that I was still standing and the let the now visible “barn” dog orbit me. I tried to tell the house dog to move but alas she is deaf and with orbiting barn dog she was somewhat trapped as well.

So after that I made my way through the house to find the barn cats. As I turned various lights on the fish in the basement splashed and the race was on. I won after a fashion and then the house was at peace again with all the animals fed and back in their places.

Well. Just minutes ago I found myself back at the computer and the house cat had not left the desk. Of course she didn't take a jump down the floor (what did you expect??) she just stood there at the edge waiting for me to pick her up and put her on the floor... which I did without thinking... and she sort of walked down the hall to her food dish. There you have it; I'm convinced I have been trained by the pets.

Gearloose

Murphy's Love Laws

2010-01-29T14:17:00.005-05:00

All the good ones are taken.

If the person isn't taken, there's a reason. (corr. to 1)

The nicer someone is, the farther away (s)he is from you.

Brains x Beauty x Availability = Constant.

The amount of love someone feels for you is inversely proportional to how much you love them.

Money can't buy love, but it sure gets you a great bargaining position.

The best things in the world are free --- and worth every penny of it.

Every kind action has a not-so-kind reaction.

Nice guys(girls) finish last.

If it seems too good to be true, it probably is. Availability is a function of time.

The minute you get interested is the minute they find someone else.

Random Animal Pictures

2010-01-29T13:50:00.004-05:00

Look old posts are just sitting there doing nobody any good

2010-01-21T14:30:00.003-05:00

Just realised that I didn't Publish a lot of posts. I just saved them as Drafts.

So if anyone actually still looks here you might have to look again.

Oh and if you think of anything post a comment

I don't bite...hard

Gearloose

Sneaky cops in Ontario

2010-01-21T12:13:00.005-05:00

Remember at night when you are drunk and getting in the back of a cab...
Make sure you read the sign on the roof first.

Try Saying

2010-01-21T11:17:00.023-05:00

You have probably seen this before but it ended up in my inbox so I decided to share.

To all employees:

It has been brought to management's attention that individuals throughout the company have been using foul language during the course of normal conversation with their coworkers.Due to complaints received from employees who may be easily offended, this type of language will no longer be tolerated.

We do however, realize the critical importance of being able to accurately express your feelings when communicating with coworkers. Therefore, a list of "TRY SAYING" new phrases has been provided so that the proper exchange of ideas and information can continue in an effective manner, without risk the of offending our more sensitive employees.

TRY SAYING: Perhaps I can work late.
INSTEAD OF: And when the fuck do you expect me to do this?

TRY SAYING: I'm certain that isn't feasible.
INSTEAD OF: No fucking way

TRY SAYING: Really?
INSTEAD OF: You've got to be shitting me!

TRY SAYING: Perhaps you should check with...
INSTEAD OF: Tell someone who gives a shit.

TRY SAYING: Of course I'm concerned.
INSTEAD OF: Ask me if I give a shit.

TRY SAYING: I wasn't involved in the project.
INSTEAD OF: It's not my fucking problem.

TRY SAYING: That's interesting.
INSTEAD OF: What the fuck?

TRY SAYING: I'm not sure this can be implemented.
INSTEAD OF: This shit won't work.

TRY SAYING: I'll try to schedule that.
INSTEAD OF: Why the hell didn't you tell me sooner?

TRY SAYING: Are you sure this is a problem?
INSTEAD OF: Who the hell cares?

TRY SAYING: He's not familiar with the issues.
INSTEAD OF: He's got his head up his ass.

TRY SAYING: Excuse me, sir?
INSTEAD OF: Eat shit and die.

TRY SAYING: So you weren't happy with it?
INSTEAD OF: Kiss my ass.

TRY SAYING: I'm a bit overloaded at the moment.
INSTEAD OF: Fuck it, I'm on salary.

TRY SAYING: I don't think you understand.
INSTEAD OF: Shove it up your ass.

TRY SAYING: I love a challenge.
INSTEAD OF: This job sucks.

TRY SAYING: I see.
INSTEAD OF: Blow me.

TRY SAYING: Yes, we really should discuss it.
INSTEAD OF: Another fucking meeting!

TRY SAYING: I don't think this will be a problem.
INSTEAD OF: I really don't give a shit.

TRY SAYING: He's somewhat insensitive.
INSTEAD OF: He's a prick.

TRY SAYING: She's an aggressive go-getter.
INSTEAD OF: She's a ball-busting bitch.

TRY SAYING: I think you could use more training.
INSTEAD OF: You don't know what the fuck you're doing.

Thank You,
Human Resources

I’ve got another thing coming?....

2010-01-21T11:12:00.008-05:00

What is this thing and is it good or bad?

Well you might be asking what this has to do with anything.

My answer “Not much.”

I was having a discussion with someone that I work with (he’s a know it all prick). I said something and his reply was “If you think that you have another thing coming”.

Well me being a sarcastic SOB and somewhat of a prick myself replied with “What is this thing and is it good or bad? And do you really want to go there right now?”

He grumbled and stomped off. I on the other hand thought of my long unused website and desided to figure out what this meant, and where it came from.

If you think that you have another thing coming

(best description for another website)

This is a complete aberration of the original phrase because of the sound of English. The correct phrase is “if you think that, you have another think coming” – in other words, “what you think is wrong so think again”. Because the “k” in “think” often ends up silent when saying “think coming” people have changed the phrase over time. Of course, “another thing coming” makes no sense at all. To illustrate how global this error is, when you google “another thing coming” it returns 100,000+ results; when you google “another think coming” it returns a mere 30,000+ results.

Gearloose

Sorry Yet again

2010-01-21T11:11:00.005-05:00

Yes I am Canadian ... I have to apologise for everything even if it isn't my fault.

Been away from the Blog world and I was worried that it might have went the way of the Dodo. But it is here and I am hopeful that I will not let it fall so far behind.

Gearloose

Twilight New Moon

2009-12-27T13:52:00.003-05:00

So I am not one of those big movie goers. I love renting and owning but not spending the phenomenal amounts of money that are needed to get into a theater with my over processed popcorn and under flavored carbonated beverage and see a movie that is preempted by hours of useless information and commercials.

That being said I was asked by a group of friends to go with them to see the movie “Twilight New Moon” last night. I have not as of this moment seen the first movie as it looked like a teen glucose rich, acting poor follower movie. It still might be and I am not saying that the second one wasn’t. The fact is that I can’t actually remember much about it. There is an actor Taylor Lautner that stars in the movie as Jacob Black (real original name). From the point at which he cut his hair short to the end of the movie my brain must have shut down.

I am a bad bad man. I spent some time trying to figure out where I had seen him before (Shark boy and Lava Girl movie and Cheaper by the Dozen). Then I found out that he is only 17. I am a very very very bad man with very evil thoughts. I realize that he is nothing but eye candy to me. But why would someone do that to and me. Oh and what was the point of the dramatic removal of the shirt, besides the fact that they had no other reason to have him take off his shirt.

At least make him legal so I don’t feel so bad.

Gearloose

A very bad bad man that is drooling over his keyboard.

Stressed?

2009-12-07T13:05:00.000-05:00

EXPRESSIONS FOR ANYBODY ON HIGH STRESS DAYS

1. You - Off my planet.

2. Not the brightest crayon in the box now, are we?

3. Well, this day was a total waste of a good 24 hours that I am never getting back.

4. Errors have been made. Others will be blamed.

5. And your crybaby whiny-assed opinion would be...?

6. I'm not crazy; I've just been in a very bad mood since I was born.

7. Allow me to introduce my selves.

8. Sarcasm is just one more service we offer.

9. Whatever kind of look you were going for, you missed.

10. I'm just working here until a good fast-food job opens up.

11. I'm trying to imagine you with a personality.

12. Stress is when you wake up screaming and you realize you weren't
asleep.

13. I can't remember if I'm the good twin or the evil one.

14. How many times do I have to flush before you go away forever?

15. I just want revenge. Is that so wrong?

16. You say Bitch like it's a bad thing.

17. Can I trade this job for what's behind door #2?

18. Nice perfume. Must you marinate in it?

19. Chaos, panic, and disorder -- my work here is done.

20. Earth is full. Go home.

21. Is it time for your medication or mine?

22. How do I set a laser printer to stun?

23. I'm not tense, just terribly, terribly alert.

Gearloose

Random quote

2009-11-22T12:22:00.001-05:00

When in doubt, mumble. When in trouble, delegate. When in charge, ponder.

Benefits of Smoking

2009-10-25T20:12:00.002-04:00

THERAPEUTIC EFFECTS OF SMOKING AND NICOTINE

Smoking lowers Parkinson's disease risk - More evidence that smoking fights Parkinson - "A new study adds to the previously reported evidence that cigarette smoking protects against Parkinson's disease. Specifically, the new research shows a temporal relationship between smoking and reduced risk of Parkinson's disease. That is, the protective effect wanes after smokers quit."
Impact of Smoking on Clinical and Angiographic Restenosis After Percutaneous Coronary Intervention – This large study shows yet another benefit of smoking. This time the benefit concerns restenosis, that is, the occlusion of coronary arteries. Smokers have much better chances to survive, heal and do well. Where is the press? Nowhere to be found, of course; we are talking about a significant positive about tobacco and smoking, which affects the health of people, don’t we? Well, come on! We are also talking about responsible media, here… people better increase their chances of death from cardiovascular disease then getting the idea that smoking may be good for them – a totally unacceptable paradox.
The Oxford English Dictionary defines paradox in these terms: "A statement or tenet contrary to received opinion or belief … as being discordant with what is held to be established truth, and hence absurd or fantastic". Since the benefits of smoking are too numerous and consistent to be attributable to error or random chance, it follows that the established truth asserting that smoking is the cause of (almost) all disease cannot be true – a reality that dramatically clashes with the gigantic corruption of public health, its pharmaceutical and insurance mentors, institutions and media. Therefore, it is constantly suppressed in the interest of public health, but not of the people.
Severe Gum Recession, Less Of A Risk For Smokers - In the strange world that anti-tobacco has wrought, any research that deviates from the tobacco-is-the-root-of-all-evil template is noteworthy. Here is a study that shows that smokers are actually at lower risk from gum disease. In this page (scroll down) there is more scientific evidence from other sources about oral health and smoking.
Honest scientists have always known that smoking has some benefit. From the apparent shielding effect against Parkinson's and Alzheimer's diseases to the more intangible benefits associated with well-being and tranquility, smoking tobacco in many ways is definitely good for your health.
One of the "Health Warnings" on cigarette pack in Canada. There is no solid proof for any of the diseases attributed to tobacco - just statistics and speculative associations, but the ministries of health continue to lie to the public, in a dazzling display of intellectual, professional, moral and political corruption.
Twin Study Supports Protective Effect of Smoking For Parkinson's Disease – "Dr. Tanner's group continued to see significant differences when dose was calculated until 10 years or 20 years prior to diagnosis. They conclude that this finding refutes the suggestion that individuals who smoke more are less likely to have PD because those who develop symptoms quit smoking." "‘The inverse association of smoking dose and PD can be attributed to environmental, and not genetic, causes with near certainty," the authors write.’
Total silence from the antismoking mass media droids, of course, on this pivotal, long-range study that shows yet another benefit of smoking. The reasons are obvious, and they need no further comments. If the intention of "public health" is to inform the public about the consequences of smoking on health as it proclaims, why don’t we see "warnings" such as: "Smoking Protects against Parkinson’s Disease," or "Smoking protects against Alzheimer’s Disease," or "Smoking protects against Ulcerative Colitis" and so on, alongside with the other speculations on "tobacco-related" disease? Isn’t the function of public health to tell the citizens about ALL the effects on health of a substance? Obviously not. "Public health," today, is nothing more than a deceiving propaganda machine paid by pharmaceutical and public money to promote frauds, fears, and puritanical rhetoric dressed up in white coats.
Does tobacco smoke prevent atopic disorders? A study of two generations of Swedish residents - "In a multivariate analysis, children of mothers who smoked at least 15 cigarettes a day tended to have lower odds for suffering from allergic rhino-conjunctivitis, allergic asthma, atopic eczema and food allergy, compared to children of mothers who had never smoked (ORs 0.6-0.7). Children of fathers who had smoked at least 15 cigarettes a day had a similar tendency (ORs 0.7-0.9)."Kids of smokers have LOWER asthma! You certainly won't see this one on the health news of BBC or ABC, as they are too busy trying to convince us that smokers "cause" asthma in their kids - and in the kids of others. That, of course, is not true, as smoking does not "cause" asthma.
Shocker: 'Villain' nicotine slays TB - "Nicotine might be a surprising alternative someday for treating stubborn forms of tuberculosis, a University of Central Florida researcher said Monday. The compound stopped the growth of tuberculosis in laboratory tests, even when used in small quantities, said Saleh Naser, an associate professor of microbiology and molecular biology at UCF. ... Most scientists agree that nicotine is the substance that causes people to become addicted to cigarettes and other tobacco products.""… But no one is suggesting that people with TB take up the potentially deadly habit of smoking." Of course not.It is much better to develop medication-resistant superbugs than to start smoking...It should be said that the "most scientists" in question are paid off by the pharmaceutical industry for their research; and that most of the aforementioned "scientists" promote the nicotine-based "cessation" products manufactured by their masters -- mysteriously without explaining why such an addictive substance becomes "un-addictive" when used to quit smoking!
Carbon Monoxide May Alleviate Heart Attacks And Stroke - Carbon monoxide is a by-product of tobacco smoke. A report indicates very low levels of carbon monoxide may help victims of heart attacks and strokes. Carbon monoxide inhibits blood clotting, thereby dissolving harmful clots in the arteries. The researchers focused on carbon monoxide's close resemblance to nitric oxide which keeps blood vessels from dilating and prevents the buildup of white blood cells. "Recently nitric oxide has been elevated from a common air pollutant . . . to an [internal] second messenger of utmost physiological importance. Therefore, many of us may not be entirely surprised to learn that carbon monoxide can paradoxically rescue the lung from [cardiovascular blockage] injury." The pharmacological benefits of tobacco are nothing new.
Smoking Prevents Rare Skin Cancer - A researcher at the National Cancer Institute is treading treacherous waters by suggesting that smoking may act as a preventative for developing a skin cancer that primarily afflicts elderly men in Mediterranean regions of Southern Italy, Greece and Israel. Not that smoking should be recommended for that population, Dr. James Goedert is quick to assure his peers. What is important is not that smoking tobacco may help to prevent a rare form of cancer but that there is an admission by a researcher at the National Cancer Institute that there are ANY benefits to smoking.
Smoking Reduces The Risk Of Breast Cancer - A new study in the Journal of the National Cancer Institute (May 20, 1998) reports that carriers of a particular gene mutation (which predisposes the carrier to breast cancer) who smoked cigarettes for more than 4 pack years (i.e., number of packs per day multiplied by the number of years of smoking) were found to have a statistically significant 54 percent decrease in breast cancer incidence when compared with carriers who never smoked. One strength of the study is that the reduction in incidence exceeds the 50 percent threshold. However, we think it important to point out that this was a small, case control study (only 300 cases) based on self-reported data.
Nitric oxide mediates a therapeutic effect of nicotine in ulcerative colitis - "CONCLUSIONS: Nicotine reduces circular muscle activity, predominantly through the release of nitric oxide-this appears to be 'up-regulated' in active ulcerative colitis. These findings may explain some of the therapeutic benefit from nicotine (and smoking) in ulcerative colitis and may account for the colonic motor dysfunction in active disease."
Effects of Transdermal Nicotine on Cognitive Performance in Down's Syndrome - "We investigated the effect of nicotine-agonistic stimulation with 5 mg transdermal patches, compared with placebo, on cognitive performance in five adults with the disorder. Improvements possibly related to attention and information processing were seen for Down's syndrome patients compared with healthy controls. Our preliminary findings are encouraging…"More benefits of nicotine. Of course, it is politically incorrect to say that this is a benefit of smoking - only of the pharmaceutically-produced transdermal nicotine, the one that is terribly addictive if delivered through cigarettes, but not addictive at all, and even beneficial, when delivered through patches....Antismoking nonsense aside, nicotine gets into the body regardless of the means of delivery. And more evidence about the benefis seems to emerge quite often, though the small size of this study cannot certainly be taken as conclusive.
Nicotine Benefits - The benefits of nicotine -- and smoking -- are described in this bibliography. This information is an example of what the anti-tobacco groups do not want publicized because it fails to support their agenda. Some of the studies report benefits not just from nicotine, but from smoking itself. But of course, according to the anti-smokers, all these scientists have been "paid by the tobacco industry" ... even though this is not true. Sadly, personal slander and misinformation are the price a scientist has to pay for honest work on tobacco.
Parkinson's Disease Is Associated With Non-smoking - Bibliography of references from studies associating Parkinson's disease with non-smoking. Certain benefits of smoking are well-documented, but the anti smoking groups, backed by several medical journals (more interested in advertising revenue than in informing the population), are silent. By the way, what about the cost of non-smokers to society due to their prevailing tencency to contract Parkinson's disease?
Alzheimer's Disease Is Associated With Non-Smoking - "A statistically significant inverse relation between smoking and Alzheimer's disease was observed at all levels of analysis, with a trend towards decreasing risk with increasing consumption".
Research indicating that nicotine holds potential for non-surgical heart by-pass procedures honored by the american college of cardiology - Dr. Christopher Heeschen of Stanford University was honored by the American College of Cardiology for his research on the effect of nicotine on angiogenesis (new blood vessel growth). His work took third place in the 2,000 entry Young Investigators Competition in the category of Physiology, Pharmacology and Pathology. Dr. Heeschen presented compelling data from research done at Stanford revealing that the simple plant protein, nicotine, applied in small harmless doses, produced new blood vessel growth around blocked arteries to oxygen-starved tissue.
Smoking Your Way to Good Health - The benefits of smoking tobacco have been common knowledge for centuries. From sharpening mental acuity to maintaining optimal weight, the relatively small risks of smoking have always been outweighed by the substantial improvement to mental and physical health. Hysterical attacks on tobacco notwithstanding, smokers always weigh the good against the bad and puff away or quit according to their personal preferences.
Now the same anti-tobacco enterprise that has spent billions demonizing the pleasure of smoking is providing additional reasons to smoke. Alzheimer's, Parkinson's, Tourette's Syndrome, even schizophrenia and cocaine addiction are disorders that are alleviated by tobacco. Add in the still inconclusive indication that tobacco helps to prevent colon and prostate cancer and the endorsement for smoking tobacco by the medical establishment is good news for smokers and non-smokers alike. Of course the revelation that tobacco is good for you is ruined by the pharmaceutical industry's plan to substitute the natural and relatively inexpensive tobacco plant with their overpriced and ineffective nicotine substitutions. Still, when all is said and done, the positive revelations regarding tobacco are very good reasons indeed to keep lighting those cigarettes.
Does maternal smoking hinder mother-child transmission of Helicobacter pylori infection? - "Evidence for early childhood as the critical period of Helicobacter pylori infection and for clustering of the infection within families suggests a major role of intrafamilial transmission. In a previous study, we found a strong inverse relation between maternal smoking and H. pylori infection among preschool children, suggesting the possibility that mother-child transmission of the infection may be less efficient if the mother smokes. To evaluate this hypothesis further, we carried out a subsequent population-based study in which H. pylori infection was measured by 13C-urea breath test in 947 preschool children and their mothers. We obtained detailed information on potential risk factors for infection, including maternal smoking, by standardized questionnaires. Overall, 9.8% (93 of 947) of the children and 34.7% (329 of 947) of the mothers were infected. Prevalence of infection was much lower among children of uninfected mothers (1.9%) than among children of infected mothers (24.7%). There was a strong inverse relation of children's infection with maternal smoking (adjusted odds ratio = 0.24; 95% confidence interval = 0.12-0.49) among children of infected mothers, but not among children of uninfected mothers. These results support the hypothesis of a predominant role for mother-child transmission of H. pylori infection, which may be less efficient if the mother smokes. ". Click here for more information on smoking and pregnancy.
Risk of papillary thyroid cancer in women in relation to smoking and alcohol consumption. - "Both smoking and alcohol consumption may influence thyroid function, although the nature of these relations is not well understood. We examined the influence of tobacco and alcohol use on risk of papillary thyroid cancer in a population-based case-control study. Of 558 women with thyroid cancer diagnosed during 1988-1994 identified as eligible, 468 (83.9%) were interviewed; this analysis was restricted to women with papillary histology (N = 410). Controls (N = 574) were identified by random digit dialing, with a response proportion of 73.6%. We used logistic regression to calculate odds ratios (OR) and associated confidence intervals (CI) estimating the relative risk of papillary thyroid cancer associated with cigarette smoking and alcohol consumption. A history of ever having smoked more than 100 cigarettes was associated with a reduced risk of disease (OR = 0.7, 95% CI = 0.5-0.9). This reduction in risk was most evident in current smokers (OR = 0.5, 95% CI = 0.4-0.7). Women who reported that they had ever consumed 12 or more alcohol-containing drinks within a year were also at reduced risk (OR 0.7, 95% CI = 0.5-1.0). Similar to the association noted with smoking, the reduction in risk was primarily present among current alcohol consumers. The associations we observed, if not due to chance, may be related to actions of cigarette smoking and alcohol consumption that reduce thyroid cell proliferation through effects on thyroid stimulating hormone, estrogen, or other mechanisms. "
Urinary Cotinine Concentration Confirms the Reduced Risk of Preeclampsia with Tobacco Exposure - This study, though small, shows one of the benefits of smoking during pregnancy. "These findings, obtained by using laboratory assay, confirm the reduced risk of developing preeclampsia with tobacco exposure. (Am J Obstet Gynecol 1999;181:1192-6.) " Click here for more information on smoking and pregnancy.
Fact Sheet on Smoking and Alzheimer's - From Forest UK.
Smokers have reduced risks of Alzheimer's and Parkinson's disease - Of the 19 studies, 15 found a reduce risk in smokers, and none found an increased risk. And smoking is clearly associated with a reduced risk of Parkinson's disease, another disease in which nicotine receptors are reduced. The fact that acute administration of nicotine improves attention and information processing in AD patients adds further plausibility to the hypothesis.
The Puzzling Association between Smoking and Hypertension during Pregnancy - This large study has examined nearly 10,000 pregnant women. Conclusion: "Smoking is associated with a reduced risk of hypertension during pregnancy. The protective effect appears to continue even after cessation of smoking. Further basic research on this issue is warranted. (Am J Obstet Gynecol 1999;181:1407-13.) " Click here for more information on smoking and pregnancy.
Smoking: Protection Against Neural Tube Defects? - Swedish researchers have some surprising news for pregnant women who smoke: a decreased risk of neural tube defects in babies. Click here for more information on smoking and pregnancy.

Why did I quit

Gearloose

Champix

2009-10-15T14:13:00.002-04:00

Bye Bye Smoking

Subject: New safety information regarding CHAMPIX® (varenicline tartrate)
CHAMPIX (varenicline tartrate) is one treatment option available to help quit smoking. Pfizer Canada in consultation with Health Canada is advising consumers of important safety information regarding CHAMPIX®. Since the introduction of CHAMPIX in Canada, in April 2007 through April 30, 2008, a total of 226 Canadian cases of neuropsychiatric adverse events have been reported. For the same time period, there have been 708 534 prescriptions filled for CHAMPIX in Canada1.
A number of patients taking CHAMPIX have experienced unusual feelings of agitation, depressed mood, hostility, changes in behavior or impulsive or disturbing thoughts such as thoughts of self-harm or harm to others.
Tell your doctor if you have experienced depression or other mental health problems before taking CHAMPIX as these symptoms may worsen while taking CHAMPIX.
Stop taking CHAMPIX and tell your doctor right away if you, your family or caregiver noticed any of these symptoms, if you experienced these symptoms in a way that is not typical for you, or if you have thoughts of self-harm or harm to others.
CHAMPIX has not been studied in people with mental health problems, and therefore your doctor will be monitoring you closely for new or worsened emotional or behavioral problems while on CHAMPIX.
Quitting smoking can also be associated with changes in mood and behaviour, with or without taking medication to help quit. A doctor or pharmacist should be consulted should these symptoms or those described above be experienced, since guidance has been provided to healthcare professionals on how to use CHAMPIX in patients, including those patients who may also have mental health problems.
Managing marketed health product-related adverse reactions depends on healthcare professionals and consumers reporting them. Reporting rates determined on the basis of spontaneously reported post-marketing adverse reactions are generally presumed to underestimate the risks associated with health product treatments. Because these events are reported voluntarily from a population of uncertain size, it is not always possible to reliably estimate their frequency or establish a causal relationship to drug exposure.
This information does not take the place of patients talking with their doctor/pharmacist about their condition or treatment. Patients, their family or caregiver are encouraged to speak with the doctor about any questions or concerns that they may have.
Health Canada issued an article concerning CHAMPIX in the Canadian Adverse Reaction Newsletter (CARN) in April 2008.

Happy Birthday to Me

2009-10-05T07:20:00.004-04:00

Unlike most people I usually make a resolution on my birthday like most people make at new years. This time I have decided to quit something that I have been doing for about 17 years. Something that everyone tries to quit at least once a year.

I am going to quit smoking.

My doctor has set me up with Champix a drug that is supposed to help although I have looked at the side effects and I am worrying that it might not be worth it.

I have got the drugs and at a cost of about 400.00 total after taxes. This will be the only time I try this so wish me luck.

Oh and happy B day to me. I am working on the road and am not getting lucky on my birthday.

Gearloose

You are only young once, but you can stay immature indefinitely. - Ogden Nash

Help me I am loosing it… If I ever had it to begin with

2009-08-11T09:52:00.002-04:00

I have an issue and I feel I am to blame in some way for this..

I am feeling like I am a soft touch, an easy mark and it is kind of driving me crazy. I have been dating a guy kind of for awhile. He lives 3 hours north of my family and so I feel free to be me up there. I get to see him on weekends that I am not working, I don’t know if it is going to last and the more I think about it I have more doubts. I feel so bad about this. This sounds so harsh. But he has completely f*cked up his life.

He is not motivated. He quit an awesome paying job after one month (because it took him away from home). He was already in debt to the hilt from living extravagantly and going to school for something he has no interest in. He is living off his parents. He has been without a job for over a year, running off to Italy on his parent’s dime to visit family. . Now that he's home, he calls me 2-3 times a day, constantly asking for favors. He wants me to come up every weekend and then take an extra day off, drive him places because he has no car, “lend” him money to help sort out his bills and his legal issues Oh and feed him. I have listened to him talk about looking for a job until I want to drive spikes thru my eyes. He complains about how lonely he is because I work during the week and some weekends and goes on about not being able to do anything. He has even said that he is thinking about waiting until he moves down with me before he gets a job.
He has said that if I get a place near my work that he would move down with me and then he says that he could not stay away from his parents for more than 5 years. He says that I should leave my job that I have had for over 10 years and get a job up there. Oh and the best was when I told him that I would have to save to get a place he said well where is all your money going.
Today he called me at work to borrow money to pay bills because he doesn’t want to ask his folks. Of course I said “I will think about it” or something like that. I wanted to scream at him to get a job, get your ever growing ass of the couch and do something. Instead I ask what he is up to and why he is calling at stupid o’clock in the morning… He is at a friends place drinking still… I am getting up in the morning and he is drinking.
How do you tell someone you care about to get a job. I have seen him blow up when his sister brought it up. I care for him but I think I am feeling less and less for him the longer he is this way and I don’t know how to say it.

I feel like the witch in the wizard of oz “My mind is melting…..”

Gearloose

I don’t care what any old Laptop say I am not an ASS

2009-08-11T08:50:00.001-04:00

Well to say that electronics and water do not mix is saying too much. Ontario is having a way to much wet weather time and I can’t wait for it to stop. Lightning, rain and the smell of burnt components has been my life recently. Don’t get me wrong I love what I do but I am starting to think that I want to transfer into another division… maybe a lab tech instead of a field tech. And I am tired of doing my morning call in and my boss telling me that was another lightning strike and the system I fixed 2 weeks ago is down again…

The final stray …alas the loaner laptop was not long for my world. It will still work but not for me. It and I didn’t get along that well anyway. When I work I am a type “A” person… I go I fix I leave…. The laptop was a type “old” personality. It went when it wanted to, It took forever to load and finally the keys started to stick and there is no way to disable the stupid keyboard short of dismantling the laptop and disconnecting it at the board. I swear the thing had a personality of its own… Closing programs, changing windows I was working on, never wanting to shut down properly. The final stray was when I was writing up a report and the keys started to stick so in my own way of venting I started to type “BITE ME” but it would not let me… After pounding the keyboard to stop it from randomly typing I look at the screen and the last thing it typed was “ASS” … I took it back and requested another one..

I am back in the office for today and have not forgotten about my blog. So I thought that I would post a couple of things and see if anyone is looking …

I think you might enjoy this.

Turn the sound up.

http://fschnell.net/WordPress/?p=1094

Gearloose

Heinz 57

2009-08-11T08:49:00.002-04:00

I was sitting in a truck stop having breakfast or lunch and I was reading the sides
of trucks and I read “Serving up quality, taste, convenience and innovation like no other food company on Earth” It was a Heinz 57 truck. I like Heinz but I don’t know if it is living up to that slogan. The other slogan was “Home is where the food is”. To me it sounds like they need to think about their slogans. I realize that most people will have some form of Heinz in their house but it sounds like they have an inflated ego or something…
I’ve looked and Heinz 57 is a shortened form of the "57 Varieties" slogan of Pittsburgh's H. J. Heinz Company. In its early days, the company wanted to advertise the great number of choices of canned and bottled foods it offered for sale. Although the company had more than 60 products in 1892, the number 57 was chosen because the numbers "5" and "7" held special significance to Heinz. The number "5" was Henry John Heinz's lucky number and the number "7" was his wife's lucky number. The company now has more than 6,000 products. Prepared horseradish was their first product.
Henry thought 57 was a lucky number. So, he began using the slogan '57 Varieties' in all his advertising. Today the company has more than 5,700 products around the globe, but still uses the magic number of '57.
Heinz is a $10 billion global company
Heinz products enjoy #1 or #2 market share in more than 50 countries
Heinz sells 650 million bottles of its iconic Ketchup every year
Heinz's top 15 power brands account for more than two-thirds of its annual sales
Heinz employs approximately 32,500 people around the globe
Heinz is a responsible corporate citizen committed to safe practices, environmental stewardship and giving back to the community
Heinz was founded in Sharpsburg (a suburb of Pittsburgh), Pennsylvania, in 1869 by entrepreneur Henry John Heinz
The relatively high viscosity and pseudo plastic nature of ketchup can make pouring it from a glass bottle somewhat difficult and unpredictable, and several urban legends surrounding this phenomenon have arisen. According to one popular folk remedy, repeatedly hitting the "57" mark on a glass Heinz ketchup bottle makes the ketchup pour out more quickly and easily. The New York Times claims this is a matter of intentional design, with Heinz having placed the "57" mark on that particular spot of the bottle as a target for consumers to hit.
Heinz 57 is also the name of one variety of Heinz steak sauce.
The name Heinz 57 is also sometimes used to describe a dog which is a mix of multiple breeds or to describe a person who is a mixed blood of many nationalities.
Just so you know I guess I would be considered Heinz 57 myself

Gearloose

So How Many horses are they burning to get the Shuttle Up there anyway

2009-07-24T10:18:00.003-04:00

I am back from of a month and a half of being on the road, much good times and some not so much. (Did you miss me?)

Ok this all starts because the guy I worked with is a Space nut. So we spent every minute glued to the TV. (I say we because I had no choice in this matter and it was better than trying to read while his deaf ass has the volume cranked).

Well during this time I was watching a show called "How its made" or “Daily Planet” (Yes my life is so boring that I watch the Discovery Channel). But I missed the part when they were going 2 say how many horse power the main engine of the space shuttle has....(damn work calling well after hours...lol)

So I decided to do some looking around and everybody says this and that like…

Don't pay attention to the horsepower because when they quote HP figures by converting from thrust or calculate how much is needed to move a given mass, it's very inaccurate.

There's really nothing that can measure over 5000HP.

It's the same when they quote HP figures for large ships or machines. It's almost meaningless. These may make a lot of HP but they make unbelievable amounts of torque.

But I found a Lovely PDF from NASA

www.nasa.gov/centers/marshall/pdf/113069main_shuttle_trivia.pdf

and I quote (see =>) “The energy released by the three Space Shuttle Main Engines at their full power—calculated in watts—is equivalent to the same amount of energy created by 13 Hoover Dams. Even though a Space Shuttle Main Engine weighs one-seventh as much as a locomotive engine, its high-pressure fuel pump alone delivers as much horsepower as 28 locomotives, while its high-pressure oxidizer pump delivers the equivalent horsepower of an additional 11 locomotives. The maximum equivalent horsepower developed by the three main engines is more than 37 million horsepower.”

There are a few other weird facts so if you get bored give it a look.

And I figure that if those guys can put up something that big and then get it back down they must know what they are talking about.

Well glad to be back and working on my own again hope everyone is good…
Gearloose

Does Prefab food Bug you

2009-05-21T11:29:00.002-04:00

This all started with someone at work…

He was at a subway and was watching the guy make his sub and noticed that a fly had landed in his Sandwich… (Gag), and gotten stuck in the mayo. He told the guy who just scrapped off the mayo. My coworker called the manager over and complained and got a coupon for a free sub and also got his order for free.

Anyway it made me think of all of the food that we all eat that is prefab. So I looked it up

The Department of Health and Human Services has set standards regarding how many insect parts are food can contain, called the Food Defect Action Levels. Chocolate can have up to eight insect fragments per hundred grams, while peanut butter can have only sixty fragments. Meanwhile, wheat flour can have 150 fragments per hundred grams and paprika can have 300 fragments…

And just to brighten your day here are a few other useless facts about bugs

1. For every person on the earth, there are two hundred million insects. More insects can be found in only ten square feet of rainforest than there are people in Manhattan. One square mile of rural land can hold more insects than there are human beings on Earth.
2. Over 900,000 known species of insects exist throughout the world.
3. Each year, insects eat about a third of the world's food crops.
4. In contrast, each year the average person will "eat" several insects while they are sleeping. During the average lifetime, a person consumes about seventy insects and ten spiders during their sleep. According to some sources, beetles have a taste that is similar to apples while wasps taste like pine nuts.
5.. Certain types of grasshoppers and crickets have their ears on their front legs.
6. The smallest insect in the world, the Tanzanian parasitic wasp, is smaller than the eye on a housefly. The largest insect is the goliath beetle, which can grow up to four and half inches long.
7. Slavery is not strictly a human condition. Amazon ants will steal larvae of other ants to be their slaves. They depend upon these slaves for their survival because Amazon ants are incapable of doing anything other than fight.
8. An ant is capable of lifting fifty times its own weight and is capable pulling thirty times its own weight.
9. The most dangerous ant in the world is the black bulldog ant. It lives in Australia and has killed several human beings. When provoked, it stings and bites at the same time.
10. There are about a million ants per person. Ants are very social animals and will live in colonies that can contain almost 500,000 ants.
11. A flea can jump about two hundred times the length of their body, which is about thirteen inches. This is the equivalent to a six foot tall human jumping nine hundred feet.
12. A cockroach can live nine days without eating. This is also the same amount of time that the body of a cockroach can live after its head has been cut off before it eventually dies from starvation.
13. Mosquitoes have forty-seven teeth. They do not use these to bite, however. Instead, they have a proboscis, which is a tubular appendage.
14. Mosquitoes are more likely to bite children than adults, blonde-haired people rather than brown-haired people, and people wearing dark clothing. They are also attracted to people who just ate bananas or finished exercising. This is because foods high in potassium and exercising cause your body to release lactic acid, which is attractive to mosquitoes.
15. Citronella does not repel mosquitoes through its smell. Mosquitoes dislike citronella because it irritates its feet.
16. Mosquitoes are responsible causing the most human deaths worldwide than any other animal-almost two million annually. They do this by transmitting diseases such as the West Nile virus, malaria, and Dengue fever. Second to this is the tsetse fly, which kills about 66,000 people annually.
17. Dragonflies are capable of flying sixty miles per hour, making them one of the fastest insects. This is good since they are in a big hurry, as they only live about twenty-four hours.
18. Flies jump backwards during takeoff.
19. A housefly will regurgitate its food and eat it again.
20. Termites outweigh humans by almost ten to one and termite queens will lay up to 30,000 eggs a day, and live for many years.
21. Termites have been known to eat food twice as fast when heavy metal music is playing.
22. There are more beetles than any other animal. In fact, one out of every four animals is a beetle.
23. The rhinoceros beetle is the strongest animal and is capable of lifting 850 times its own weight.
24. A spider's web is not a home, but rather a trap for its food. They are as individual as snowflakes, with no two ever being the same. Some tropical spiders have built webs over eighteen feet across.
25. More people are afraid of spiders than death. Amazingly, few people are afraid of Champagne corks even though you are more likely to be killed by one than by a spider.
26. The most poisonous spider is the black widow. Its venom is more potent than a rattlesnake's.
27. During its lifetime, a worker bee will only produce about one-twelfth of a teaspoon of honey.
28. Honeybees are more dangerous than snakes. Bees kill more people each year than all the poisonous snakes combined.
29. Butterflies have taste sensors in their feet and taste their food by standing on it. Although all species of butterflies have six legs, some keep their front legs tucked up under their body most of the time.
30. The butterfly was originally called the "flutterby."
31. The praying mantis is capable of turning its head 360 degrees. It is the only insect that can do this. It is also the only animal on Earth with only one ear.
32. Crickets and katydids have ears on their legs.
33. Aphids are born pregnant and can give birth when they are only ten days old.
34. Only male crickets can chirp and will chirp faster in warm weather than cool. In fact, you can determine the temperature by counting the number of chirps in fifteen seconds and adding it to 37.
35. The average bed contains between two million to six million dust mites.

Gearloose

I feel bad…

2009-05-14T12:44:00.001-04:00

It is funny when you realise something about yourself that is not normally what you show the world. Yes I am gay/bi/anything but straight but to the world I am straight. To the outside world I am calm and laidback if a bit flighty. But I have never been accused of being shy or nervous. I have been accused of being a sarcastic prick a few times but never shy.

This came to me as I was catching up on my usual scan of blogs. Someone’s life changed dramatically (they came out to their mother) and I wanted to wish them luck and tell them that I wish that I could do it and hope them the best. (I am guessing you know who you are if you ever see this).

Well, I tried and tried about a dozen different ways and nothing was right. I am far from a perfectionist and without spell check I doubt I would even try to send an email. Also probably the reason that I stopped using msn ( It is maddening when your fingers fly across a keyboard and all you notice is the mistakes…after you have pressed SEND)

I realise that I go to a plethora of blogs (I love that word.. plethora…)
I read up on people lives that I have never met and it makes me feel good.
I feel good because I see that I am not alone and I never comment on their posts. Some of you have went through things similar to me and others have went through much more than I never hope will happen to me.

So, I am adding a blog list of all the blogs that I go to (minus the picture sites) and hope that you will go too.

To Everyone on the list

These are people that I enjoy seeing update their blogs and if you are not on the list it probably means that I haven’t finished making my list of blogs or you could ask and I will add you.

Also if you see anyone who is on the list and they are maybe feeling down because they feel that their blog is not being looked at link them here.

From the unusually quiet
Gearloose

If marbles are not made of marble, why are they called marbles?

2009-05-12T10:19:00.000-04:00

Marbles originated from ancient Rome and Egypt. The name Marble comes from a material called Marble (expensive stone). In the year 1800 the best Marbles were made out of Alabaster (white Marble). People wanted to use a cheaper material. They tried clay but it crumbled when the marbles would hit each other. Finally in 1846 a German glass blower invented special scissors that could cu t glass and make marbles. That way marbles became cheaper and easier to produce. Now marbles are made in factories where hot glass is dropped onto steel rollers that shape the glass into marbles.

Need to find a home for a slightly used dildo

2009-05-06T13:46:00.007-04:00

Ok Ok I am getting to it and no it is not mine

First ...Sorry for the Huge delay in posting I have been on the road and work is what gives me the toys and money so I have to make them happy.

But this came up this week and I had to post

Some Background:
One of the managers in another office has a daughter who is a lesbian. (note: please remember I am in the closet) She just got married and so as a gift this manager (male, older, old fashion) got his daughter a very large, very purple and very flexible dildo. He says that he paid over $150. It is weird enough for me to think of him going into a store to pick it out and then put down the money for it,

This week:
the bad part is that his daughter gave it back and said she doesn’t like it.

Some of the guys including myself where at a meeting and he brings this up. He wanted to take it back. We explained to him that they will not likely take it back if she “tried it”.
So now he is stuck with it. So now a very straight, very vocal, very old fashioned manager has a purple dildo sitting on his desk with a small sign

“If you want it take it, Or tell me what I can do with it”

Some days I love the people I work with

Gearloose

Why I don’t like Country Music

2009-04-30T13:18:00.000-04:00

YAY I finally found a reason not to listen to country music

I don’t usually read all the junk mail that is sent to me through work but this caught my eye. It is a legitimate scientific paper that says that well read on...

The Effect of Country Music on Suicide
(S. Stack and J. Gundlach; Wayne State University and Auburn University; 1992)
"The greater the airtime devoted to country music, the greater the white suicide rate"

According to the authors, Steven Stack and Jim Gundlach, the paper "assesses the link between country music and metropolitan suicide rates. Country music is hypothesized to nurture a suicidal mood through its concerns with problems common in the suicidal population, such as marital discord, alcohol abuse, and alienation from work. The results of a multiple regression analysis of 49 metropolitan areas show that the greater the airtime devoted to country music, the greater the white suicide rate. The effect is independent of divorce, being southern, poverty, and gun availability. The existence of a country music subculture is thought to reinforce the link between country music and suicide. Our model explains 51% of the variance in urban white suicide rates." The paper can be found online by just typing the title “The effects of country music on suicide”.

So if your parents are like mine and like to play it loud and long show them the paper.
Before you tell them “to turn it off before I kill myself”

Please save the children and stop the country

Gearloose

P.S. If you like country I am really really sorry (I so many ways)

A is for ‘orses…

2009-04-16T14:23:00.004-04:00

I guess I pressed save and not post

This was supposed to be posted a long time ago

I brought up the weirdness of the alphabet and told them about the different versions of “A” I was thinking about and then one of them said “A is for horses” it was some old thing that he was saying in school when he was a kid so I looked it up.
Ok so there is some age difference between the guys I work with and me .

A is for ‘orses
B for mutton
C for miles
D for dumb
E for Peron
F for vescent
G for police
H from Steps
I for the engine
J for cakes
K for teria
L for leather
M for size
N for lope
O for the rainbow
P for relief
Q for a bus
R for Fowler
S for Rantzen
T for gums
U for mystic
V for la France
W money
X for breakfast
Y for runts
Z for wind

I don’t get it
I don’t think I will ever get it
And I think I am happier because of it

Gearloose

Why I am happy there is DNA testing

2009-04-16T13:46:00.004-04:00

Hi all you Maury Povich fans out there.

You ever read those weird medical magazines in the waiting rooms at the doctor’s office. I did and it was old but it said that in the 60’s or 70’s the across the U.S.
On average, 12 newborns were given to the wrong parents every day.

I just started to laugh.. That would make those DNA tests on Maury so much more interesting.

It wouldn’t be who is the father.
It would be who is the mother.

Gearloose

My take on the Phonetic Alphabet

2009-04-16T11:20:00.010-04:00

Beware Profanity below

So I have been saving this one for a while.

Actually it came up when me Laptop died. I had to call the Tech department and give them my serial number (9 letters and 8 numbers long) so that they could tell me that my old laptop was not under warranty and then every other time they called to tell me that it couldn’t be repaired.

I deal with a lot of people and find myself using the Phonetic alphabet quite a bit but my sarcastic nature doesn’t deal with it as well as most people so….

Here is the normal Phonetic Alphabet
No the profanity isn't here look lower
A-Alpha
B-Bravo
C-Charlie
D-Delta
E-Echo
F-Foxtrot
G-Golf
H-Hotel
I-India
J-Juliet
K-Kilo
L-Lima
M-Mike
N-November
O-Oscar
P-Papa
Q-Québec
R-Romeo
S-Sierra
T-Tango
U-Uniform
V-Victor
W-Whiskey
X-X ray
Y-Yankee
Z-Zulu

Here is the one you use to Be a Prick and roman numerals (rn)
Not here either keep going
A-Are
B- bdellium
C- cue / 100 (rn)
D- Double-u / 500 (rn)
E- eye
F- Faze
G- gnome
H- heir
I- irrupt/ 1(rn)
J- Jalapeno
K- Knot
L- Llama/ 50 (rn)
M- mnemonic/ 1000(rn)
N- Nguyen
O- Ours
P-psycho
Q- Quay
R-Are u listening
S-see
T- Tsunami
U- Urn
V- 5 (rn)
W- whole
X-xylophone/ 10 (rn)
Y- You
Z- Zhivago

And finally what you really want to say
Here it is YAY profanity
A-Arse / Annoying
B-Bastard / Bitch
C-Clown / Cunt
D-Dickhead / Doorknob
E-Eunuch
F-Fool / Fuck
G-Git / Gerbil stuffer
H-Halfwit / Hemorrhoid
I-Idiot /Irritating
J-Jerk / Judas
K-Knob
L-Loser
M-Moron
N-Numb skull / neophyte
O-Oaf / OMGWTF
P-Prick / Piss ant
Q- Quif
R-Retard /reject
S-Stupid / Simpleton
T-Twat /twit
U-Useless / ugly
V-Vacant / Vile
W-Whore / wank
X-Xenophobe
Y-Yutz
Z-Zit /zero/ zoophile

Oh and for any computer/ techies here is one

A-Apple-A is for Apple. Apple Computer, Inc.
B-Boot-To load and initialize the operating system on a machine. Flavors come in cold, warm, and thigh-high.
C-Caffeine-C8H10N4O2 has fuelled many a night of coding, gaming, or *ing.
D-Dongle-A security or copy protection device for proprietary software consisting of a serialized EPROM and some drivers in a D-25 connector shell, which must be connected to an I/O port of the computer while the program is run. Still, saying "dongle" makes me snicker like a second grader.
E-Error-Something that bad programmers fail to trap.
F-Freeware-Freely-redistributable software.
G-Google-To search the Web using the Google search engine, http://www.google.com/
H-H4X0R-A person who enjoys exploring the details of programmable systems and how to stretch their capabilities, as opposed to most users, who prefer to learn only the minimum necessary.
I-Intel-Intel's also inside Apples. It's absolutely ironic. Actually, I'm astounded.
J-Joystick-From the first Atari to Zaxxon cabinet games, gaming wouldn't be the same without it.
K-Kilobyte-1000^1 or 2^10 bytes, depending on whether or not you are a hard drive manufacturer.
L-Linux-An OS I am not allowed to use anymore.
M-Microsoft-Something has to fit underneath Linux.
N-Newbie-See also newb, nub, noob, nooblet, foob, noobcake and n00b
O-Obsolete-What most computer equipment is moments after you get it home.
P-Printer-Like "computer", this term has gone through some signficant changes over the last few hundred years.
Q-Quicktime-Quickly taking away your rights, one piece of DRM at a time.
R-Reboot-What Microsoft beleives will fix most faults.
S-Serial-Cereal Killer. As in Fruit Loops./ Serial cables which are obsolete. They are termed "serial" because they send one bit at-a-time via a single (pin #2) wire within the cable and receive it via another (pin #3); although, secondary wires (pin #s 14 and 16) may also be used for these functions.
T-Toolbar-A place where lusers go to drink.A row of icons in a graphical user interface that are used to activate the functions of an application or operating system
U-Unix-The one true operating system and first source-portable OS.
V-Virus-Some think this is also microsoft ... Always remember to practice safe hex.
W-Webcam-a digital camera designed to take digital photographs and transmit them over the internet ..Some cats and rats and elephants, but sure as you're born, you're never gonna see no unicorns.
X-XModem-A quick and dirty hack, it gave way to YModem, a slight improvement on a quick and dirty hack, which then lead to ZModem, a great improvement on a slight improvement to a quick and dirty hack.
Y-Yahoo!-Yahoo is a Brazilian rock music band formed in 1988 or is an American public corporation headquartered in Sunnyvale, California that brought us http://www.yahoo.com/
Z-Zaxxon-Zaxxon or Zork? Sound off in the comments!

Gearloose

Back from the land of having no Laptop…

2009-04-15T10:01:00.001-04:00

What an odd feeling to see so much stuff go up in a puff of smoke and an arid smell of burning components… Oh yes and let us not forget the grinding noise of what I later found out was the hard drive.

My poor overworked laptop decided to do something foolish and die.

The techs where using lovely terms like catastrophic failure, FUBAR, electrical overload and no hope of repair, I believe the best was that it was puzzling and that never should have happened.

This left me with a work desktop that I am not ‘allowed’ to take on the net. To make it worse they have put some software on it called “Websense” that deems all the good sites (the sites a closeted gay man needs to go) where inappropriate.

So 2 months later I get a new/used laptop that is slower than Jesus pulling the cross.

But I must say that I think I am in love with it. I miss looking at things (I am not supposed too) and reading things (I am not supposed too).

Anyway I am hopeful that I will be able to get back into the swing of things once I find all the software that I need to make this hunk of plastic and components work properly and as I wait ever so patient for screens to load.

Gearloose

Uncommon Phobias

2009-02-20T00:25:00.001-05:00

The last post made me think of what weird things that people are afraid of...

* Ambulophobia – the fear of walking
* Anablephobia – the fear of looking up
* Arachibutyrophobia – the fear of peanut butter sticking to the roof of one’s mouth
* Aulophobia – the fear of flutes
* Barophobia – the fear of gravity
* Cataptrophobia – the fear of mirrors
* Chionophobia – the fear of snow
* Chromatophobia – the fear of colours
* Chronomentrophobia – the fear of time
* Cnidophobia – the fear of string
* Cyberphobia – the fear of working with computers
* Genuphobia – the fear of knees
* Geumapobia – the fear of taste
* Hippopotomonstrosesquippedaliophobia – the fear of long words
* Hypnophobia – the fear of sleep
* Kyphophobia – the fear of stooping
* Levophobia – the fear of objects to the left
* Metrophobia – the fear of poetry
* Mnemophobia – the fear of memories
* Octophobia – the fear of the figure eight
* Ommetaphobia – the fear of eyes
* Optophobia – the fear of opening one’s eyes
* Peladophobia – the fear of bald people
* Scuirophobia – the fear of squirrels
* Siderophobia – the fear of stars

And finally, spare a thought for sufferers of Panophobia, who are continuously engaged in the fear of everything...

If you find anymore that you think are uncommon, comment and I will add them later

Gearloose

Friday the 13th

2009-02-19T11:02:00.004-05:00

Ok so I got asked if anything funny happened to me on Friday ...the 13th

So

There is no written evidence of the term "Friday the 13th" prior to the 19th Century. Some theories believe it to be connected to certain superstitions that sitting 13 people at a table will result in the death of one member, or that it is in fact a combination of superstitions about the number 13 and Friday.

The Knights Templar was a brotherhood in the Middle Ages. They were said to be guarding the Holy Grail and had substantial power because they lent money to kings and the like. Some meant they had gotten too powerful and a secret order was issued to kill them off. (Like in Star Wars ep III) This happened on Friday 13th.

Also Jesus was killed on a Friday, and there were 13 at the table for the last supper.

As always if you have more than comment away

Gearloose

The Province of Quebec... And Montreal

2009-02-18T11:46:00.003-05:00

One of the guys I work with says that “Quebec hates the rest of Canada”.

The guy that I worked with in Montreal said something like …blah blah …we are squandering their heritage.. I caught him on that and he didn't really know what their heritage really is.

(poutine does not count as heritage and the only thing cultured about it is the cheese curd)

The news there is full of “we want more money”, but really it's just something to whine about. What is a poor Province to do? If I am not mistaken they do get more than most of the other provinces …

Anyway …

I don't think they hate Canadians so much as they want to be recognized for being unique which no Canadian denies. It's the attitude of "If you don't play our way, we're taking the ball and going home" that annoys the rest of Canada. Denying the English language, which is also an official language of Canada is particularly pissy.

And it isn’t as though they can’t learn to speak it…

I realize that I can’t speak French worth a damn and although I understand a fare bit it is not enough. I don’t want to butcher a language and so I do not speak it. But, when I go into a convenience store in a little town outside of Montreal and an older couple from New York (with accents… I Love accents) gets their stuff (right in front of me) and the clerk speaks English and then I go up and I speak (with Canadian accent) She starts up with I don’t understand (in French) etc etc.

That led to a very unhappy week for me…

I hate starting like that.

There is one thing I will say. Montreal is a much better place to be than Quebec City. Montreal is a true Bilingual city. They try and those that can’t speak English know someone who can. A very happy time was had by all…. (Not that happy… I didn’t get lucky) although there was a lot of stuff to look at even in the winter. They seem to dress for looks and not for warmth.

Note: If anyone from Montreal saw a guy almost walk into a sign on Rue due St. Catherine as a group of hot guys walked the other way than you saw me…

And for once I am glad that you can’t smoke in the hotel. There was this young guy that worked at the restaurant next door that seemed to be coming out or going in every time I came out for a smoke. I will just say that he was good looking no matter which direction he was going. (I love skin tight clothes on hot guys)

Never did get his name but I did get a free drink for giving him a light..

Other than that there was much drinking and eating of awesome food… And some work that got done..

Went to a restaurant owned by the “wild chef” on the food network

Had much Montreal smoked meat

Did I already say saw some hot guys …

So as a final note

Quebec can separate in my opinion but they can’t have Montreal

Gearloose

101 uses for Paperclips

2009-02-17T14:28:00.005-05:00

1. hem holder
2. cigar filter unstopper
3. spray bottle unclogger
4. eye glass repair
5. hair barrette
6. zipper tab
7. clean fingernails
8. Xmas ornament holder
9. unclog Elmer's glue bottle
10. calendar holder
11. belt holder
12. emergency cotter pin
13. unclog baby bottle nipples (man! I was sure careful to put all the modifiers in there)
14. strawberry huller
15. cherry pit remover
16. Olive holder for martini
17. a substitute for the thingy that holds the scotch tape in a tape dispenser
18. substitute for a twist-tie to close a plastic bag (hard to do but possible)
19. poke snoring people beside you (on plane/bus etc)
20. clean the little roller thingies in your mouse
21. Cheap mans bookmark
22. substitute toothpick
23. clean the shaft on your mechanical pencil
24. toenail cleaner
25. emergency Tie clip
26. inexpensive ear (or body?)-piercing tool
27. inexpensive ear (or nose?)ring
28. when combined with a rubber band, can be used to earn a three-day vacation" from eighth grade
29. sparkly and useful alternative to throwing rice at weddings
30. Lilliputian water divining rod
31. cone incense holder/stand
32. reset a Palm Pilot or Handspring Visor
33. eject a powered-off CD-ROM, CD-R, CD-RW, or DVD drive
34. actor for Micro$oft Office "help" system
35. snow shoes for mice, birds, and other small creatures
36. booger hunting device
37. emergency corkscrew
38. splint for minor injuries of fingers & toes
39. makeshift antenna for small electronics
40. miniature slingshot
41. miniature catapult
42. when a fellow smashes his thumb in a range gate, and the blood begins pressuring under the thumbnail, the doctor takes a paper clip, straightens it, heats its tip up good and proper at a bunson burner, and plunges the thing through the thumbnail to make a hole to relieve the pressure.
43. nose weight for paper airplanes
44. substitute playing pieces for game (bend small part up to grasp)
45. Cheap necklace/bracelet (children love stringing them)
46. emergency key chain
47. emergency key to bathroom knobs (the ones that have the hole in the middle to slip a long skinny thing in and pop them open)
48. quick find tabs for meetings
49. hold papers together (too obvious?)
50. pry bar (for something very flimsy)
51. lottery ticket scratcher
52. pipe cleaner
53. necklace clasp
54. replacement chain link
55. fuse replacement (just make sure you replace it )
56. punch a pilot hole
57. clean the head on an acetylene torch (when it is off)
58. Pirate earring
59. hold up the exhaust system under the car
60. lock the door to the bird cage, hamster cage, etc.
61. let the air out of a tire when you over-fill it (or do it to someone you don’t like)
62. emergency fish hook
63. emergency screw for eyeglass arm when you are too cheap to get it fixed and you don’t mind looking like a loser
64. grind one end to point; use for home tattooing
65. desk top sculpture kit for when your computer solitaire game is down
66. construct material for see-through dress for next year's Oscars®
67. clean narrow grout
68. wrap with copper wire, connect to battery, and use to hold papers on refrigerator
69. put a couple hands-full in your pockets and have fun with the airport metal detectors
70. pop zits
71. rub some on a powerful magnet, then set on hostile co-worker's desk near floppy disks and hope for the best (or worst)
72. connect three straight chains to a chain loop and make a hanger for flower pots
73. branding irons for miniature cattle
74. cut in short lengths and use as spikes in your model railroading
75. hold the cavity closed while baking your Thanksgiving turkey
76. bend open and use as fangs to attract the attention of Buffy the Vampire Slayer
77. decorate the office Christmas tree
78. take a box in the forest and drop them every so often so you can find your way home from the Gingerbread House (and get charged for littering)
79. take a box to the beach and scatter about to drive the guy with the metal detector nuts
80. drop a couple dozen in an empty soda can and shake it to cheer the home team
81. stick in the door lock and break off to get some peace in the bathroom
82. make a crude tuning fork for your already out-of-pitch instrument
83. construct a playground for ants
84. skewers for very tiny shish-ke-bobs
85. bend in a "U", carefully insert bare ends in an electrical outlet at the office early on a Friday afternoon in hopes that departmental blackout will result in an early weekend
86. emergency wedding rings to replace those lost by the drunken best man
87. make tongs to remove veggies you don't like from the soup
88. tool to flick crumbs out of keyboard
89. money clip

90. reset electronic devices
91. roach (hand-rolled) holder
92. bend into heart shape and give to your Valentine
93. bend it into a "jumping paper clip", a fun toy for young'ns
94. sabotage your friend's drink in a Styrofoam cup (remember: hot drinks have more impact than do cold)
95. temporarily fix a bra strap
96. blowgun dart
97. lock picking tool
98. Stress relievers. Many a bored man, woman, or child has spent idle hours twisting and bending paper clips as a means of keeping the hands occupied.
99. One or more paperclips can make a loopback device for a RS232 interface (or indeed many interfaces).
100. Open shrink-wrapped anything…
101. clip all these suggestions together, wrap, and send as a gifts to your cheap, I mean frugal, friends and relations

And yes I copied some from other places and I am sure there are duplicates but I will find them and fix that

Also if you have any that you know of and want them in here then I comment and I will fix that too

Gearloose

Back from Montreal

2009-02-17T14:26:00.001-05:00

YAY I am back

I will post more about the trip when I get my travel receipts in so that I can wait for a month and a half to get the money back ...

Gearloose

Vowels ...

2009-02-12T07:11:00.000-05:00

There are just 2 words in the English language that contain all the vowels in their regular order: facetiously & abstemiously.

Maybe I want to be a dork ... But at least i can't be a twit....

2009-02-12T07:02:00.005-05:00

A whale's penis is called a dork.

Ok, I am not into animal sex but there is something to say about the biggest animal having the biggest cock.

A blue whales penis gets about 12 feet in length, and they have some 'control' over them to facilitate mating.

A pregnant goldfish is called a twit.

Goldfish and other types of fish will be pregnant for 2 weeks to 4 months. But if the fish is pregnant longer then that it means you have not looked after it very well....
The eggs have probably been eaten by the mother or the other fish in the tank ...

OK..weird and it works for me !?!

2009-02-10T06:06:00.001-05:00

The Paomnnehal Pweor Of The Hmuan Mnid.
Aoccdrnig to a rscheearch as Cmabrigde Uinervtisy,
it deosn't mttaer in waht oredr the ltteers in a wrod are,
the olny iprmoatnt tihng is taht the frist and lsat ltteer be in the rghit pclae.
The rset can be a taotl mses and you can sitll raed it wouthit porbelm.
Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe.

Ok so maybe not everyone noticed the i was drunk

I hope
-Gearloose

The day after ...

2009-02-10T05:56:00.003-05:00

Well It would appear that i can type with the help of rye and rum ... I doesn't do anything for my grammar. I am going to keep the posts that i did...

I just hope all the errors are hidden (hidden enough that i won't notice for a little bit)

The worst part is that I don't seem to have a hangover... I should... I really really really should ...

Ok so off to Montreal .... for real this time

Vive Quebec....maybe..not sure...no so much

Gearloose

Ok done for the night

2009-02-09T22:52:00.003-05:00

note to self: no more posting after drinking

Note to others: I will look at this later and try to fix any errors

no title nessessary

2009-02-09T21:59:00.002-05:00

Got sent this

2009-02-09T21:48:00.003-05:00

Ok if that was true i would be the pope

Ah.. So that is a boner...

2009-02-09T21:37:00.001-05:00

Other than humans, almost all mammals have a penis bone, or baculum. Other species that are do not have this bone are horses, marsupials, rabbits, hyenas, and a few others. Most other primates, our closest relatives, are born with a penis bone...

Hard as a rock takes on a whole new meaning ..

Off to montreal

2009-02-09T21:18:00.004-05:00

Hi All who look at this...

I am off to Montreal located in the dreaded lands of Quebec. Don't get me wrong I love Quebec but I can't speak the language and can't get around the separatist movement. This is fine until those who don't speak English find out that I can't speak french....
At least with Montreal they try to speak both ....

Much better than Quebec City itself

sigh....

Long live the french ...
(I hope long live me )

"je ne comprend pas" only gets me so far
gearloose

Jehovah's witnesses...at work

2009-02-06T11:44:00.011-05:00

Mini rant incoming

Look I realize that people have every right to their own religion but for the love of god (humorous turn of phrase) why the hell do they think that they can come into a place of business. It is bad enough that they come to my home and my parents are nice enough to listen.

Do I want to talk to you...? Umm NO! (I barely want to talk to anyone at work in the first place.)

So, any way this all starts when one of the people that works out in the field (he is a witness) phones in and says that someone is coming to drop something off for him...

Step forward half an hour… In drives the minivan with a plethora of suit wearing neophytes with various dazed looks on their faces and they start spouting religion.
I don't have a religion, and I don't want one...At least not that one. I feel that other people are welcome to their own belief systems, but I don't want to know about them….

Unless I ask….

I realize that there at one point or another might be a witness that looks at this and I do not wish to offend. I am happy that you wish to follow that path. Be a good little sheep and have fun with it. Just leave me to my ‘heathen ways’ and go play in somebody else’s sandbox.

Gearloose

free ticket

2009-02-06T10:47:00.001-05:00

A Jiffy

2009-02-06T08:41:00.001-05:00

Ok, so my parents are old and the people I work with are old. But, why use words like a JIFFY.

I heard it twice yesterday and found myself using it today. So, what is a jiffy?

A jiffy is an actual unit of time for 1/100th of a second.

So how can you actually do anything in a jiffy?

In a few sites it states that “The maximum temporal resolution of a neuron is about one or two milliseconds, ignoring the time it takes for the impulse to actually travel down the neuron's length”

So, the most you can do is think in a Jiffy….

Gearloose

Bisexuality RANT

2009-02-04T10:40:00.000-05:00

I will make this as short and sweet as I can ...

I'd like to clear up is a few misconceptions that some of the people have regarding bisexuals, at least from my viewpoint.

This is coming from a conversation that I had with one of the guys that I work with(an older guy with kids my age) ....

Note: they do not know what my sexual orientation is.

Some might say (he did) that we are "whores who will sleep with anyone" or "Gays that can't make up their minds" or my favorite "Those just wanting to follow the latest trend"

I choose to believe that instead being bisexual comes from being more open-minded. I am starting to think of myself as "Gay" but I can not say that I have always been that way so I dont discriminate based on race, age, body type, so why should I discriminate based on gender?

Personally, while I can say that I can find both genders sexually attractive, I find myself roughly 80/20 (men/women).

This begs the question: When you fall in love, do you fall in love with that PERSON (their personality, their charm, their soul) or their particular genitalia?

Let me just say that as a living, breathing male I am quite fond of my penis. But, I assure you my personality is far more interesting. If I have learned anything through this thought process, it is that more than ever my feelings are my own. Although I have kept them private I hope they are nothing to be ashamed of.

Also, The people who can't be bothered to think or realise that the world views have changed since the 50's aren't worth my time.

Gearloose

Why is this here

2009-02-04T10:04:00.001-05:00

Hi World

You might be asking yourself

“Why is this here?”

I have started many blogs and after about a month I loose interest in them, from what I have seen this is pretty normal. I figured that if I started one that wasn’t just about me then I would have something to put in more frequently.

The reason for the name is that I have been told that I am a wealth of useless information from time to time so I liked the name. Plus I love the fact that the internet is full of stuff that is considered by others to be useless information.

All hail the internet and the useless information that it holds

Gearloose

Weird Toronto Law

2009-02-04T08:55:00.000-05:00

Just so you know in Toronto you can't drag a dead horse down Yonge St. on a Sunday.

The Worst Air in the World

2009-02-04T08:51:00.000-05:00

The world's worst air pollution is in Seoul, South Korea, according to a report by the Asian Foundation, in San Francisco. In a one-kilometer-square section of Seoul's Youngdongpo industrial district, fro example, over thirty tons of dust particles fell in a single month.

What the Ontario Police don't want you to see

2009-01-30T09:20:00.001-05:00

A service reminder to get your parking brake checked before you load or unload your boat. From your friends at Shit Happens

Typing

2009-01-30T09:12:00.001-05:00

Stewardesses and reverberated are the two longest words (12 letters each) that can be typed using only the left hand. The longest word that can be typed using only the right hand is lollipop. Skepticisms is the longest word that alternates hands. (one letter at a time)

How come all the good comedians are living impaired

2009-01-30T09:06:00.000-05:00

"I sit at my hotel at night, I think of something that's funny, then I go get a pen and I write it down. Or if the pen's too far away, I have to convince myself that what I thought of ain't funny"- Mitch Hedberg

George Carlin I miss u

2009-01-29T08:30:00.001-05:00

I heard this joke on the radio this morning and it reminded me how much i am going to miss George Carlin

"This country was founded by a group of slave owners who wanted to be free. Am I right? A group of slave owners who wanted to be free! So they killed a lot of white English people in order to continue owning their black African people, so they could wipe out the rest of the red Indian people, in order to move west and steal the rest of the land from the brown Mexican people, giving them a place to take off and drop their nuclear weapons on the yellow Japanese people. You know what the motto for this country ought to be? 'You give us a color, we'll wipe it out.'"

Ode to a smoke detector

2009-01-28T11:51:00.001-05:00

Dear smoke detector that I can’t reach, that started chirping at 2am: Bite me

Why is north at the top of the map?

2009-01-28T11:30:00.002-05:00

The ancient Greeks and Romans put the east at the top of their maps because that is the direction from which the sun rose. The early Christian and Moslem nations did too because it was believed that the Garden of Eden had been located in the east. North gradually moved to the top of the map near the beginning of the 14th century. This was because more and more armies, emissaries and traders were travelling north to Europe where there was a larger population mass.